Stress, it’s a word that we all rely on for various reasons. But to what degree do we really stress? I used to stress over some of the littlest things. Now, I have almost the ultimate reason to stress. Being diagnosed with Pre-cancer.. Not entirely sure what that means. Is that like waiting for the real stuff to show up? They have removed the pre-cancer and now I just wait? Does that seem weird to anyone else? There seems to not be enough information to me. I was a bit in shock when I was told so I didn’t ask enough questions. Now, I have so many I can’t function as a normal person. Couldn’t sleep last night. Can’t think of anything else today. Music, reading and exercise will be my friends for the next few days I’m sure.
I will eventually learn how to function again as a normal person since all I have to do now is sit and wait. I now this is nothing like being diagnosed with actual cancer. But it seems like a step in that direction. Will it inevitably turn into that? Will they be able to hold it off?
I was simply going in for a test that was looking for one thing and they find this.. EARLY!! Thankfully. Before it could turn into something irreversible. But still the thoughts are scary. IT makes you want to change everything thing about you.
You want to change everything. I was put hairspray on this morning and stood holding the bottle wondering if the chemicals I had just sprayed on myself had something to do with Why I was no getting sick. It wasn’t even one with fluorocarbon.. I am conscientious of the environment. But now I am over thinking everything. THe perfume was next. Then the deodorant. Look at all these chemicals.
What is really bad is I have recently, as in the last three months, changed my diet to non-dairy vegan. So I have significantly changed the way I eat. But, now is this going to change the way I think about every day things?
It always gives you a bit of a wake up call. Makes you think, Did I spend enough time with my kids? Cross enough off my bucket list? Ever run that marathon I said I was going to? Have I given up trying to make something of myself? How can I change all of those? I should start doing more now. I mean it really could be a car crash that kills me and not cancer right? Why waste time.
See? Too much thinking. Too much Stressing.
Here I thought I had, had most of my stress under control and along comes this and knocks it out of the park.
How do I turn this stress into an adventure? Can I?